


pitfalls of forever

by blazeofglory



Category: Not Another D&D Podcast (Podcast)
Genre: Character Study, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:22:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22319317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blazeofglory/pseuds/blazeofglory
Summary: A collection of unrelated short Naddpod fics!Chapter One: Alanis and Thiala have always teetered on the edge of something that might be love.Chapter Two: Moonshine comes home.Chapter Three: Beverly can't sleep.
Relationships: Alanis/Thiala (Not Another D&D Podcast), Moonshine Cybin & Hardwon Surefoot & Beverly Toegold V
Comments: 18
Kudos: 47





	1. Alanis/Thiala

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alanis and Thiala have always teetered on the edge of something that might be love.
> 
> Vague spoilers through 83!

The air is hazy with smoke and sunlight filtering in through gauzy curtains, and Alanis is at peace. It’s such a rarity, these days, that she is determined to enjoy it as much as she possibly can. 

And, really, it doesn’t get better than this. 

Alanis is sprawled out in bed, higher than she’s been in a long time, and she’s warm and comfortable and she might be in love. She hasn’t had the time to figure that out yet, but she’s alright with that. Things are what they are, and things are generally bad, but _this_ is good. 

Thiala is tucked against her side, draped over Alanis, naked and soft and beautiful. 

“When the war is over, I want to be like this all the time,” Thiala whispers, her breath tickling Alanis’s neck. “I want to live forever, here in this bed, with you.” 

Alanis strokes Thiala’s silky hair, letting the strands slip through her fingers, and it feels like everything is moving in slow motion. 

“I wish you were an elf,” Alanis finally says, once she can finally gather her scattered thoughts. “Immortality without you… would suck.” 

“Mm,” Thiala murmurs, shifting so she’s propped up on an elbow and smiling down at Alanis. She looks like an angel like this, with her golden hair wreathed in sunlight and her blue eyes bright. She takes Alanis’s breath away. “I’ll find a way to live forever.” 

Alanis smiles. “There’s no rush.” 

Thiala leans in for a soft, slow kiss, and Alanis melts into it. Thiala’s lips are intoxicating and her skin is so warm and soft under Alanis’s hands, and she has just enough presence of mind left to wish that the war would end right now, right this moment, so they really could just stay here and revel in newfound peace. Danger lays beyond this bed-- Hell, Asmodeus, and anything else that may step in their way. But right now, with Thiala in her arms, Alanis isn’t worried. 

They’ll make it through this. They have each other. 

They might be in love. 

* * *

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing, coming here to speak with me,” Thiala says, voice carefully measured and face stoic. “You’ve had so many chances to see sense, Alanis. Why would I believe that you’ve found it now?” 

“Dealing with a fascist is not my idea of a great afternoon,” Alanis points out, arms crossed. “ _You’re_ the one that needs to see sense.” 

“Do I?” Thiala raises a brow pointedly. “I’m more powerful than I ever dreamed I could be. I can change the world, _really_ change the world, and mold it however I see fit. I’m not the villain here, you should know that. It’s Akarot that you should be fighting.” 

“There are enough of us to take down both of you,” Alanis lies. 

Thiala smiles. 

She’s just as beautiful as she was all those years ago, back when they adventured together, when Thiala would laugh with Alanis and Ulfgar while they ate dinner, when Alanis would stay up late braiding Thiala’s long hair, when Thiala would turn to her and smile the same smile that’s on her face right now, and Thiala would say, _We deserve a break, don’t we?_ Back then, Thiala would kiss her and Alanis would kiss her back. 

Alanis has lived many lifetimes. In one of them, she did not reach for Thiala’s hand that one fateful night, and they never tumbled into bed together. In another, Thiala kissed her first, but they never spoke of it again. In another, Alanis told Thiala that she loved her, and Thiala said she loved her back, and in that lifetime, Alanis thought that love would win. 

But it didn’t. And it won’t in this lifetime either. 

Here they are, and they know the taste of each others’ lips, but they’re strangers. Alanis put everything she had into loving Thiala, into _saving_ Thiala, but they’re still here, standing on opposite sides of a war that they created. Alanis doesn’t know what’s going to happen next, but there is still a small, stupid, lovestruck part of her that hopes that the woman she loved is still in there somewhere. 

“I don’t want to kill you and you don’t want to kill me,” Thiala says softly. “If you just give in, we can be together again. We can live out the rest of our lives side-by-side, just like we always wanted.” 

Alanis shakes her head, dismissing all those memories. It’s too late for the Thiala that still lives in her mind, who is _rational_ and good and bursting with love. This woman standing in front of her doesn’t love her, or her worshippers, or anything but herself. 

Thiala extends a hand. “I loved you once, Alanis. You loved me too.” 

And despite _everything_ that’s happened and every rational thought in her brain, Alanis wants to take Thiala’s hand. She wants to pull her close and kiss her hard and forget that the past few years, the past few _lifetimes_ , ever happened. 

Alanis worshipped Thiala long before she became a god. 

“I still love you,” Alanis says quietly. She sighs heavily. “But that doesn’t change anything.” 

In the second before Alanis teleports away, Thiala breaks her cool and yells, “Alanis, _no!”_

But Alanis is already gone. 


	2. The Crick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moonshine gets a happy ending.

The crick doesn’t look the same as it used to, but it’s still the most beautiful thing Moonshine’s ever seen. She’s been to almost all of Bahumia and just about every plane there is, and nothing’s ever compared to home—not the mountains of Frostwind or the bright stars of the Astral Plane. 

The crick is babbling, the nannerflies are buzzing, and she can even hear some small animals moving in the woods. It’s like the earth beneath their feet just _knows_ that it’s time for peace again. The earth is ready for them. 

It’s welcoming them back home. 

“Our stumps are gone,” Meemaw says, but she’s smiling and Moonshine is too. “Gonna be quite the job to make all these new homes.” 

Moonshine glances behind them, where all their people are trickling in, grinning wide at the woods around them. It’s a beautiful day, warm sunlight filtering in through the dense canopy of trees, a light breeze carrying the scent of the water, and she can hear the voices of their people, talking and laughing and shouting. 

“I think we’re up to the task,” Moonshine replies, leaning into Meemaw’s side as they both turn back toward the water. It’s so _serene_ , and Moonshine hasn’t felt peace like this in a long time, and— “Pawpaw!” 

Pawpaw’s been keeping Bev and Hardwon company, but they must’ve finally caught up—because Pawpaw’s sprinting ahead of the pack now, running full tilt right into the crick, yelling in delight as he splashes his way into the water. Moonshine laughs as she watches him, and without turning, she knows that Bev and Hardwon have joined her and Meemaw right at the edge of the water. 

“Home sweet home,” Hardwon says, nudging Moonshine in the side. She can’t stop smiling. 

“Jawjaw, let’s go take a splash!” Bev suggests, flopping unceremoniously to the ground and tugging off his boots and bits of armor. Jawjaw flies right into the water, dipping down under the gentle waves, and Bev grins up at them from the mossy ground. “Think there are any giant snakes hiding in the water?” 

Moonshine laughs and sets Rosaline on the ground, and for just a _second_ it feels weird to not have a blade in her hand or at her hip. She feels too _light._

But the second passes. Moonshine feels _free_. She’s quick to drop the rest of her stuff and strip down, charging into the crick without another word to say about it. 

The water swells up around her, familiar and cool, embracing her like an old friend. In the sunshine, in the water, in this _peace_ , it’s like the world never ended. It kept spinning. They’re all here, so many of them made it back home, and nothing is gonna drag them away again. 

Bev and Hardwon splash into the water with her, and Pawpaw jumps into her arms, and Balnor shows up a few minutes later too, sandwiches at the ready. Meemaw and Cobb sit at the shore, feet in the water, and Moonshine hasn’t seen this many smiles in a long, long time. 

Moonshine breathes out. She splashes her friends and she scratches Pawpaw under the chin and she feels the smooth pebbles under her feet and her hair getting frizzy from the water, and this is finally it. 

This is their victory. 


	3. Beverly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even when they _win_ , Beverly is still losing.
> 
> Spoilers for episode 89. TW: panic attacks.

It feels stupid, sometimes, to feel lonely when he isn’t alone. He’s never alone, and he thinks that’s probably for the best, but sometimes... 

Sometimes. 

Sometimes, Beverly aches. He feels it in his chest, _physically feels it_ , the way that his heart is breaking, and it _hurts_. And it’s good to not be alone—Moonshine and Hardwon and Balnor are always there, always supporting, always loving. But Bev’s heart still breaks. 

He still lays awake at night, feeling strange and vulnerable without his armor on, with his sword next to his bed, and his thoughts race and his chest aches and he can’t sleep. It hits him then, even in a shared bed, how _alone_ he feels. 

Though he has his friends—his new family—they don’t quite get it and there’s no way for them to. They’re all older, by a margin of at least a decade, and they just—they don’t know what it’s like, to be 16 and out in the world like this. To be 16, without a home to go back to, having already lost everything. Home, _life,_ his father, friends his own age, _Erlin_. To be 16 and staring down death, to be 16 with the weight of the world on your shoulders, to be 16 and in love and _lonely_ , to be 16 and ready to die if he has to. 

Bev thinks they’ll make it through this. He thinks they’ll win. 

But he knows it’s going to come at a cost, because it always does. Even when they _win,_ Beverly is still losing.

There are things that Bev can never get back: his home, his childhood, his father. But he has his mom, and they can build a new home. Thiala has Erlin, but Bev is going to save him. He’ll die trying if he has to. 

It’s late at night and Gladeholm is quiet. Moonshine and Hardwon are trancing, and Balnor is asleep.

The bed is big and it’s comfy, and Bev should be glad to just have somewhere nice to stay. 

But he can’t sleep. 

Somewhere, trapped in a gem, Erlin is in Thiala’s clutches. Bev wonders if Erlin is conscious in there—is he planning an escape, is he going slowly mad? Can he sleep, can he eat? Does he know that time is passing and does he feel this too? Is he lonely, does he ache, does he know that Bev can barely breathe when he thinks about how he failed? Does Erlin know that Bev failed him, that Bev fails everyone, that Erlin deserves better? 

Bev can feel his heart racing and his breath coming quicker, but he can’t make it stop. He doesn’t even try. 


End file.
